R’ YISROEL KNOPFLER FROM BADATZ OF LAKEWOOD AND OTHER DISHONEST BATEI DIN VIOLATE THIS CRITICAL HALACHA IN SHULCHAN ARUCH. YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO FORCE A GET EVEN WHEN THE MAN IS CRAZY ABUSIVE, VIOLENT AND LETHAL!
Batei Din today try to falsely paint men as being abusive in order to force a Get. In reality, this is far from the truth and they are relying on a rotten foundation to make these kinds of assumptions. Nowadays, lawyers advise women to claim abuse in court in order to get custody of the children from her husband. Halacha doesnt rely on the woman’s testimony that came from the advice of a lawyer or a Toen. Even if she stated it on her own, Halacha doesnt rely on her testimony in the face of her husband denying it. It would need to be examined properly by expert Dayanim according to the halachic guidelines shown below.
Besides for this, even if it were true that the man is abusive, it still wouldnt allow for a forced Get. We see this Halacha in the Shulchan Aruch that we Paskin like the Rosh. The Rosh (Klal 43:3) speaks about a case where the woman claimed the man was dangerous to live with since he would kick, hit and bite when he became upset to the point that he was lethal and she was afraid for her life. Still and all, the Rosh didnt allow for a forced Get. See attached 60-second audio and screenshot for the full Tshuvah from the Rosh. Audio credit: SKW Archives
Whenever a case comes to Bais Din, they need to compare it to the cases found in the Poskim and use that to make a determination. The Rosh’s case talks about an extremely violent man that’s dangerous to live with. So Bais Din needs to ask themselves, is the case in front of us worse than the Rosh’s case? Thats the guidelines that they should be following. A woman that claims her husband is abusive and violent doesnt qualify for a forced Get under these guidelines. The woman may not be required to live with her husband if her claims are proven (in certain qualifying cases) but even in those qualifying cases the man still always has the right to pursue Sholom Bayis for the rest of his life and try to do repair things. This is what Torah wants. This is how all the Rishonim and Poskim spoke throughout Jewish history. This is very different from what is expected under social norms and secular ideologies.
On a side note, the Torah only considers a woman an Agunah that we could force a Get when her husband is refusing to give her Oinah. And that is only true when Bais Din determines that he’s not holding it back due to her fighting with him. If she was causing it, she is a Moredes and there’s no grounds to force a Get.
Even when he refuses to support her when he is capable, we cant force him to give a Get. In certain instances he may be considered “Chayiv Get”, but we cant shame him in public. Bais Din can tell him privately to give a Get after they tried to force him to support her. Thats it! Practically speaking, this doesn’t exist today because she could get support (sustenance) from family, government programs or from the community.
Additionally, when a woman leaves her husband, she is generally considered a Moredes that no longer deserves to be supported according to Halacha unless she comes back.